I want to walk on stilts...naked
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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