We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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