She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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