plz talk dirty to me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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