I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
