Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize