There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize