There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
