Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
