I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just found a bag of teeth...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
