Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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