I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize