found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
