They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
