Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
one might say we're banned from that church
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
