i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize