I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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