I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
