I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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