Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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