but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
false alarm. still invincible.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
