Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
