I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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