i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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