After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
