Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
