She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
