garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
