So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
