My hand turned me down
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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