Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
