Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
