i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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