i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
