god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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