Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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