seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
