I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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