ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
