You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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