Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
