Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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