i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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