Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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