there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
