you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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