Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
