So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
