I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Me too!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
