Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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