He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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