The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
