I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
