I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
