i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
