need another drink. this is the easiest way
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I stole a fireplace last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
