he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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