also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
