Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize