He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
how does that bad decision feel?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
