i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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