just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize