well you can't waste a boner
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
