Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
