my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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