oh god the rape fog is back!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
