I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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