he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
