I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
