Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
