I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
NoShamevember. You game?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
