Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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