I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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