i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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