i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this is an emotional support booty call
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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