omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
